32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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