Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
