i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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