yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
