I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
