"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
