Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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