I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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