Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
