yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
