I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
