So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
