just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
