Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
