I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
