I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
