it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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