It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
