Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize