id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize