Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
