I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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