i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
