waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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