I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
