I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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