He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
