Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
