She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
