So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
