she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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