we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
