so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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