somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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