dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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