tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
false alarm, still single
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
