Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
