census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
