About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
