But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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