they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i've created a new STD.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize