Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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