If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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