it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize