sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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