At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
