Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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