where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
