I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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