Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
