I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
