Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
