I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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