I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
