We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
