if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't notice because vodka
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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