you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
