it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
