I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
