I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize