Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
